Um...Chocolate...Fruit Lemonade.....Hmmm

I said once before that I was going to get Angela's book Raw Emotions, but I didn't do it. I really should. Having fallen off of the juice wagon I am finding it hard to get back on. Yesterday I ate saltine crackers, chocolate, nuts, rice crispy bars (EnviroKids somewhat 'natural' ones), wasted the wonderful juice I made, and today, I made a lemonade with raspberry juice and blueberry juice in addition to the lemon juice, and I've only had a little. Instead, I have had a bit of mixed roasted nuts, 2 rice krispy bars, chocolate...and smatterings of other things. I do need to drink more of my lemonade....but this is not balanced or healthy.....what am I going to do tomorrow? A green drink I think.....did take my fiber drink today....but I am definitely in the acting out zone....eating very schizophrenically....obsessed with the numbers on the scales.....but they aren't going to reliably go down if I don't eat properly. If I don't juice properly. I can do it. I can....but why don't I? This actually makes me mad..that I am not doing it. Eating/juicing properly is easy. And healthy and good. No reason in the world to not do it. So...from now on...enough with the acting out. Instead, I am going to act in. Do what I know I want to do, what I know I can do. Wasting my time and money is what I am doing...silly of me. I know what I want. And what I don't want. No reason in the world not to have it.

So...that's it. My confession and pep talk for the day.

Need to write up some goals....what I am striving for.

Bought some new shoes today, sandals to be exact. With a bit of a wedge heal...BCBG black sandals...my old ones are ripping out on the side...also bought a salad spinner, and epil machine to take care of all the stray hairs here and there (including my legs...I wear these leggings all winter which have pretty much gotten rid of most of the hair on my legs, so it is easy to just epil off the rest....but my legs. sigh. spider veins, fat ankles, peasant feet, cracked heels (even though I keep trying to fix them) allergic red spots near the ankles...almost gone...but still around....fat calves...at least my legs are long so they aren't as bad as they could be. My sister is 5 inches shorter than me and her calves are the same size as mine....) and they are pale. My face and arms have seen lots of sun so are nicely tanned....but my legs...hah. And I'd use some tanning lotion (I have several) but I am worried I'd be allergic to it...seem to be more allergic now adays...so just need more sun! I am not afraid of the sun. It is good for you...my skin doesn't mind it....and I do use a bit of sun screen when I need to....only SPF 4...which I know has some of you in horrors.....but my skin can take the sun...and SPF 50 doesn't let you know when you've had too much sun....it prevents sun burn, but not skin cancer...doesn't lessen the internal damage. At least with SPF 4 you have a more true idea of how much sun you are getting. I have also discovered that if you wash off your skin after a day in the sun you are much less likely to burn, turn red. I think much of the 'burning' is caused by the salt sitting on your skin when it's vulnerable.

I also bought a pepper grinder, and an alarm clock. Finally found one that I like...small...a Timex travel alarm. From Bed, Bath & Beyond. anyhoo.......enough of this silly stuff. Reading a great book on year round gardening with cold frames....getting ready to start a compost pile......and hope to expand our garden next year. And grow lots and lots of all kinds of things. The book is called...Four-Season Harvest by Eliot Coleman....it's great! Very practical...not fancy, hi-tech etc.
Can't wait to get started.

Ciao bellas!
Alessandra